your parents love me but you hate me
I heard we made out
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
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