I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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