I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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