My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
4 words: hood of his car
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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