Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
