so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
