There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize