You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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