U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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