Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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