Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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