He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize