You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
