I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize