Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
