DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
