Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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