I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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