I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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