dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
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