If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
