wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
