im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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