Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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