I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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