Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
