Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We have started to decorate penises.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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