ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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