And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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