**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
