why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize