i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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