I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
