come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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