Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
