exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
