She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
