Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he was CRYING into my vagina
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
