i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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