my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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