i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
