I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
