And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
