when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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