I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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