At least make sure they are 18
Why
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
