I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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