how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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