after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize