Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
