I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you win again, gameday.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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