Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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