no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I will be naked everywhere
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
