I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
