it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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