She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
