What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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