I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
