sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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