I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
