hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
