my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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