I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
