I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
