white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
