...so i touched it.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
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