she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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