idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
