some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
