I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
