Me too!
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize