She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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