I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
