morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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