Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
my sisters under your porch take her home
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
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