It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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