she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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