The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Randomize
