I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
