I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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