My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
