Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
