either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
