things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
