everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Two words: blizzard sex
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
